At All Costs
by LadyLefaye
Summary: Neji will do anything to be free of the curse the Main House placed upon him. But is his freedom worth the cost? NejiHina, NaruHina, NaruNeji. Warnings: Angst, character death and a slash scene although nothing too graphic


Warnings: This isn't the most pleasant of fics. There is character death, some m/m action (although nothing too graphic), and also pairing of two people from the same clan (although I don't if NejiHina actually qualifies as incest).

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Neji holds Hinata stiffly as she sobs into his chest. It was the anniversary of Naruto's death, and while Hinata had moved on with her life after the untimely demise of her childhood sweetheart, she has never truly stopped loving him. Which makes this day particularly hard for her. Although no one would ever realize to what extent, this day also wears heavily on Neji's heart. It is made all the worse by the fact that his wife insists upon apologizing for her grief, as if her tears over Naruto are somehow a betrayal of the vows she has taken with Neji.

Under normal circumstances, her apologies might seem somewhat warranted. Any husband might feel justified in taking some offense at his wife's love for another man (even a dead man), and Neji was not known for being an understanding person. But Neji knew he did not deserve Hinata's guilt-stricken remorse. After all, he was the cause of her grief.

It had all started on the day he had seen Naruto and Hinata out on their first date together, sitting at the Ichiraku ramen stand for all to see. One did not need the Byakugan to know that Hinata was head over heels in love with Naruto…she had been obsessed with the boy for years now. But Neji had never thought anything would come of it…not with how painfully obtuse Naruto could be.

This date of theirs troubled him. Neji and Hinata had formed a tenuous friendship over the years, and he had always taken for granted that when the time was right, he could claim Hinata as his bride and use her to gain acceptance by marriage into the Main House of the Hyuuga family. From that position, he could work to unite his severed clan and finally rid himself of the cursed seal that constantly haunted him. However, all of this hinged upon his belief that Hinata was too terribly shy to actually pursue a relationship with one of the shinobi of the village. A theory that had proven true up to this point.

Neji quickly decided that, for the sake of his clan, he would have to nip this relationship in the bud. And he was fully confident he could do so. His confidence came not from the belief that he could bully Hinata into forsaking her foolish crush on a boy her clan would never approve of. Neji knew that if Hinata was to be his, he would first have to extinguish the small fire that was kindling between Naruto and her. And what better way to do that than to ignite a larger fire of his own?

There was a small piece of knowledge that Neji planned to use to aid him in this endeavor…a piece of knowledge he was fairly certain only he was privy to. Namely, he knew that at one point in his life, Naruto had been madly in love (obsessed) with Uchiha Sasuke. Neji had suspected it for quite some time when they were younger, but the confirmation came during that fateful mission where they had been sent to retrieve Sasuke (ungrateful bastard that he was) from the hands of the Sound Ninjas. During the night, Neji was certain anyone with ears could hear Naruto frantically murmuring Sasuke's name in his sleep. But only Neji, with his keen eyes, could see that those cries weren't the result of some troubled nightmare. Instead, they were cries of passion, evidenced by the fact that Naruto's hand could always be found silently pumping up and down beneath his blanket on those fitful nights. Naruto himself may not have even been consciously aware of these feelings, but to Neji it seemed obvious that the rivalry between Uchiha and Uzumaki was just a thin cover-up for deeper emotions.

Neji had never really thought to use this information until now. To him, romance was a dangerous undertaking that could only serve to cloud the mind (true ninjas did not partake in such idiocy), but so long as such foolishness did not directly endanger him or a mission, Neji did not much care. However, given that the shinobi of Konoha had never successfully managed to drag Sasuke back to the village, Neji knew that Naruto must still have those unspoken feelings buried deep inside of him…feelings that would be easy enough for Neji to awaken given his similarities to the Uchiha (quite often in the past, the simpering, giggling girls of the village could be found comparing the two brilliant, aloof, beautiful boys). The weak and delicate Hinata could never fully satisfy the longing in Naruto's heart, the longing to see his own power and strength reflected back in his lover's eyes.

Despite Neji's detest of romance, even he had been known to slake his lust occasionally, typically with some random stranger he encountered when missions brought him to a distant village. Male or female did not really matter to him (both was better), so long as the sex was good. These encounters had helped to sharpen his skills in seduction though. Good looks alone were not always enough to convince a pretty young boy or girl to engage in a night of shameless debauchery. Neji had learned quickly that apparently one had to be charming as well. (Who would have guessed that simply offering a night of mutual gratification would be met with a screech of indignation and various objects being thrown at his head?) But now he would put those skills to good use…he was going to seduce Uzumaki Naruto.

He began subtly enough, merely requesting that he and Naruto begin training together. When Naruto had quizzically asked him why he would want to do that, Neji had muttered something about needing a strong opponent if he was going to become stronger himself (an admission that had been bitter on his tongue). But that was exactly what Naruto needed to hear. Receiving recognition from his fellow villagers was always something Naruto secretly pined for, and after hearing Neji's acknowledgement of his strength, he was more than happy to train with the other shinobi.

They trained with one another for months, working together nearly every day that both of them were in the village (and on days that missions kept them apart, Neji seethed in frustration…only because it hindered his progress, of course…not because he actually missed the boy who had suddenly become such a large part of his life).

During the time they trained together, Neji made calculated efforts to awaken the latent desire within Naruto for a lover who could be his equal. He would adopt some of Sasuke's mannerisms when he was around Naruto, right down to the insults Sasuke used to use, to trigger Naruto's memories of his old flame. And at times, he would let 'accidental' touches linger a moment longer than he had to…touches that would cause Naruto to flush slightly and stammer when Neji 'innocently' asked what was wrong. He would even let slip occasional words of gruff acknowledgement (he wouldn't go so far as to call them praise), guaranteeing that the attention-starved Naruto never tired of Neji's presence.

Of course, efforts so subtle never registered on a conscious level with Naruto, but then, his feelings for Sasuke had never been on a conscious level either. However, Neji's actions triggered something deep inside Naruto, and it was not long before he began giving Neji the same looks of longing that Neji had seen him give Sasuke in years past, despite the fact that Naruto had still been dating Hinata casually throughout this process.

The day he cut off his long mane of hair and had it styled into the ragged, messy quaff that Sasuke used to sport, Neji knew he had finally succeeded in his efforts. (He of course claimed that the change was due to the fact that his long hair could conceivably be a hindrance in battle…although in truth it pained him deeply to cut it off.) The look that Naruto had given him when Neji arrived at the training grounds was worth the sacrifice though…it was nothing short of pure, unbridled lust. The look only lasted a moment before being replaced by Naruto's trademark grin, but Neji had seen enough. Now was the time to act.

During the sparring match that always concluded their training session, Neji allowed his clothing to be thoroughly pinned to a tree by Naruto's throwing knives. Naruto should have known something was amiss the moment that occurred…the Neji he knew would never be defeated by something as simple as a few well-placed kunai. However, Naruto was, as always, cheerfully obtuse, and he gladly took this opportunity to brag about his skills. When Naruto came in to retrieve his weapons, he made the mistake of standing nose to nose with the other boy to gloat. (Ne, Ne…I got you good today, eh Neji-kun?) In response, Neji gave him a look that screamed arrogance before leaning forward to kiss Naruto fiercely on the lips.

For a moment, Naruto went completely still, not knowing how to react to something he'd only dared dream about in his deepest, darkest fantasies (oh God, it's happening…it's really happening). But after a moment, a change overtook him. He started to kiss back with vigor, and something akin to a purring growl began to emanate from the back of his throat. When Naruto finally broke the kiss, Neji was startled and slightly frightened to see that Naruto's eyes had shifted from their normal ocean blue to a deep blood red. It was then that Neji knew that all the rumors were true…that Naruto truly was the vessel for Kyuubi no Youko…the fox demon that had terrorized their village years ago.

Staring into those eyes…the eyes of a beast that could easily break him in two…Neji felt a twinge of true fear (shit…shit…shit…I'm gonna die), and he considered calling the whole thing off (if he survived). He would rather find some other way to free himself from his cursed fate than to risk dying at the hands of the creature that now stood before him. But then Naruto began to kiss him again, and do things with his hands and his tongue (…oh God, his tongue…) and Neji felt any will to resist quickly leave him (please…please don't stop).

Their first time was there in that clearing in the woods, a training ground where anyone could have seen them, and the whole while, Naruto left Neji pinned to the tree by his kunai. Naruto did things that Neji, with all his experience, never would have imagined. When Naruto took Neji into his mouth and used his tongue and hands and fingers to make Neji reach a height of ecstasy he had never dreamed possible, Neji thought he was in heaven. (How had Naruto ever thought to use chakra to stimulate his skin like that?) When Naruto then used Neji's own emissions as lubrication before taking him hard against the tree, Neji couldn't even complain about how he was never the bottom because it just felt so…damned…good. By the end of the encounter, Neji's skin was peppered with scratches, bite marks and bruises and his body had been thoroughly, blissfully, utterly possessed.

It wasn't until afterwards, when Naruto had reverently taken Neji's ravaged body down from the tree and lain shaking in Neji's arms, that Naruto had nervously admitted that this was his first time. (Oh, God…please tell me I didn't hurt you.) It was then that Neji realized that much of what Naruto had done must have come from the pent up sexual drive of the fox demon buried within Naruto rather than from more…traditional… sources. Yet somehow, given the results, Neji couldn't bring himself to complain.

After that first encounter, Neji and Naruto continued their trysts with some regularity. The sex was always…beyond amazing…and the bond between the two young men grew stronger every day, but surprisingly, Naruto insisted upon continuing his relationship with Hinata as well. When Neji casually brought up the issue (what the fuck are you thinking, you moron), Naruto became angry and growled some comment about how both of them needed bitches to breed with. Despite the crudeness of the statement, Neji could not argue with the logic. As a member of the Hyuuga clan who had successfully manifested his bloodline limit, Neji was practically required to produce an heir. And if Naruto himself also wished to have a family, there was no amount of great sex that would change the fact that Neji could not give Naruto the offspring that he (or perhaps the demon within him) so desperately desired.

Still, Neji felt that there was hope. There was no way that the Main House of the Hyuuga family would allow their heiress to marry someone like Naruto. In actuality, it was typically preferred for those who manifested the bloodline limit to marry a cousin or distant relative within the clan, to help keep the bloodlines pure (a fact which laid heavily in Neji's favor). That was why it was such a shock when Hinata stood up for herself (perhaps for the first time in her life) by defying her clan and allowing Naruto to publicly announce their engagement to the entire village of Konoha.

Neji felt at a loss. (Engaged? Why didn't he tell me things were so serious?) With the announcement, all of his hopes for mending his clan seemed to vanish in a puff of smoke. And he could not understand how Naruto, who seemed to be so noble in character (and so thoroughly enamored with Neji), could ask Hinata to marry him when he was still actively sleeping with Neji on the side (two-timing bastard). Although he would never admit it, it had also hurt Neji that, despite how close they had become, Naruto had kept his plans for proposing to Hinata a secret from him until after the fact. (Do I really mean so little to him?)

When Neji confronted Naruto about the issue, Naruto actually had the audacity to wink at him, saying that everything would be alright…that he had a plan…and all three of them could sit down to talk about it after they returned from their next mission. (Don't you trust me, Neji-kun?) Both he and Neji had been scheduled, along with four other shinobi, to leave the next morning for a long assignment that would keep them away from Konoha for over a month, and Naruto knew there wouldn't be time to work things out properly before they had to depart.

Neji couldn't understand why Naruto appeared so giddy, especially when it seemed to Neji as though he had just officially declared the end of their relationship. But he was not one for pressing an issue (especially when discussing said issue would require him to let down his guard enough to allow Naruto to see what he was feeling). Naruto was right to delay this talk…there was no room for such emotionality when they had an important mission to complete. Neither of them could afford to have their judgment clouded when lives were on the line. So, with a deep dread in his heart, Neji decided to let the matter drop until they returned home.

The mission was supposed to be a simple, albeit highly important, guard job, escorting a group of high-ranking officials back to the Hidden Village of Sand, and at first, everything seemed to be going extremely (eerily) well. They were able to escort the dignitaries safely home without a single problem on the way, and the team of six shinobi who had been assigned the job breathed a sigh of relief when they were able to leave the confines of the Sand village and begin the journey back to Konoha.

As capable of a group as they were, nothing could have truly prepared them for the ambush that awaited them on their trip home. (Why didn't we see this coming?) Unbeknownst to them, there was a strong resistance that greatly resented the tenuous alliance that the new Kazekage had made with Konoha. They felt that the great Village of Sand should have crushed the pathetic Leaf Village while it was still weak rather than tiptoeing through years of diplomatic maneuverings to achieve an uneasy peace. So, once the group of Leaf shinobi had traveled deep into the desert and far from help, the band of renegade Sand shinobi attacked in hopes of rekindling the flames of war between the two hidden villages.

Neji had been the first to spot the ambush, and that slight bit of forewarning helped keep them from being immediately slaughtered, but the Leaf shinobi were greatly outnumbered, and it wasn't long until members of their small team began to fall. Soon, it was just Naruto and Neji fighting back to back against what seemed to be an endless stream of enemy ninja. (Dammit…where are they all coming from?)

Naruto had performed a massive Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, and his clones were acting as a sort of human shield around the pair, but his replicas were not very good at fighting as a unit. More often than not, then ended up fighting each other or getting in each other's way (Hey! I'm going to kill this one…no I am! Oh, shit! poof poof), and while the shield they provided was probably keeping Naruto and him alive, it also served as a barrier that greatly decreased the visibility of the enemy attacks.

However, when an enemy kunai managed to fly by Naruto's guard to hit Neji in the back…a lucky strike that was able to slip into the one tiny spot that Neji was vulnerable…it was if a floodgate had been released inside Naruto. If Neji thought Naruto's first Kage Bunshin was impressive, it paled in comparison to the next one. After completing the jutsu, there was nothing but replicas of Naruto for as far as Neji could see…and Neji could see amazingly far. He couldn't even comprehend the amount of chakra it must have taken to create such a massive amount of clones. All around them, Neji could hear the screams of the dying, and when Naruto finally released the jutsu, the bodies of dead Sand shinobi littered the ground like discarded refuse. Naruto had killed them all in one fell swoop.

Upon releasing the jutsu, Naruto's vision swirled, and he had trouble keeping his balance. He had sustained some injuries during the fight…injuries that he normally would have brushed off with a shrug and a smile…but he had just drained his chakra reserves to the dregs, making him feel weak and vaguely disconnected with the world around him. But he knew that Neji had been hit in the back with a kunai…hit because Naruto had been careless (never mind the fact that he had also been simultaneously controlling hundreds of clones which might have been a tiny bit of a drain on his concentration).

All Naruto could think to do in his woozy state was to make sure that Neji was ok. He began to take a few wobbly steps towards his friend, feeling increasingly worried because suddenly Neji seemed very upset. Neji never got upset…he was completely unflappable, even in the middle of battle. He could see Neji's lips moving…he even thought he might have heard Neji angrily tell him to stop being a moron and watch what he was doing…but there was still a roaring in his ears, a roaring that always accompanied the return of the Kyuubi back to a more dormant state within him, which made it hard for him to focus. It wasn't until a hundred kunai buried themselves into Naruto's flesh that he finally realized what must have gotten Neji so worked up. He had walked right into one of the traps left by the enemy. (How stupid of me, he thought as he collapsed to the ground.)

Neji stared in horror at Naruto's mangled figure. Despite the fact that enough kunai protruded from his body to make him look like a porcupine, Naruto still had a weak smile on his face, claiming that he would be just fine after a night's rest. (Don't worry, Neji. I'm fine. We got them good, didn't we?) Slowly, Neji began to pull the kunai out of Naruto's body and cover each wound with bandages. But the wrappings soon became soaked with blood, and Neji quickly ran out of the meager medical supplies that the team had brought with them.

Blood was pouring out of Naruto's body in sickening spurts, staining the sand around them a dull rust color. Neji knew that even with the healing power of the demon within him, Naruto might not survive such severe wounds. (At least, he tried to convince himself of that.) Because a panic had begun to fill him. He realized that even if Naruto did somehow manage to survive the night, they were still deep within enemy territory and completely vulnerable to attack. There was no way Neji could transport Naruto in the condition he was in, and there was no way he could defend the both of them in the exposed expanse of the desert (we're both going to die…there's nothing I can do…we're both going to die).

As the panic verged on consuming him, an evil, sickening thought also wormed its way into Neji's brain. He could not save Naruto. If they stayed the night in their position, they would surely be discovered and killed by morning. But Naruto could still save him. With Naruto gone (I can't save him…there's no way I can save him), he would be free to marry Hinata…free to start down the path to liberating his house. And Neji remembered how, after a night full of intense love-making, Naruto had sworn on his life and honor as a shinobi that he would do anything in his power to free Neji from his cursed seal. Now was his chance to fulfill that promise…to help free Neji from his cage.

When only a single kunai remained, Neji paused. A stillness came over him like the calm before a terrible storm. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and he allowed a single drop to fall as he leaned down to kiss Naruto. "I love you," he whispered softly as he placed his hand around the last kunai that was stuck in Naruto's flesh…a kunai imbedded a few inches above Naruto's heart (please forgive me). Just as Naruto opened his mouth to respond…surely to say "I love you too" in return… Neji plunged the kunai deep into Naruto's chest.

A spurt of blood came out of Naruto's mouth, and he struggled to speak. His eyes asked the question that his lips couldn't seem to form. (Why?)

"Hinata," Neji said quietly.

Perhaps it was the fact that he was so close to death, but for once in his life, Naruto did not need to have things spelled out for him in agonizing detail. Understanding filled his eyes, and he suddenly realized how for all these months, Neji had been trying to steal Naruto away from Hinata, not because he needed him but because he needed her. But didn't Neji, with all of his super-genius intelligence, realize that Naruto was marrying Hinata in order to help him? That once his position as husband to the Hyuuga heir was solidified, he would use his power to begin changing things in the severed clan? That Neji would always be welcome in Naruto's bed (and even Hinata's, if Neji so desired)? The plan had seemed so obvious to Naruto…especially given that his actions would have been inordinately cruel if he hadn't had such noble intentions…he had thought it would be insulting if he spelled it out for his brilliant lover. (Neji, don't you understand?)

However, it seemed that even Neji's eyes could be blinded when fear and desperation entered the picture. Yet there was no anger or hatred in Naruto's heart…only regret…regret that he had not been able to communicate to Neji just how he planned to help him…regret that he had never told Neji that Hinata had always known about their secret relationship…and that she was ok with it (honestly, Naruto had felt Neji should hear that from Hinata herself once they returned…he would have never believed such things of his shy cousin if he heard them come from anyone but her)…regret for a thousand things he would never be able to say now. (I love you, Neji. Please tell me you at least know that.)

But Naruto could not bring himself to be angry. Even with his shining optimism, he could not completely ignore how unlikely it was that either of them would have survived if Neji stayed to care for him. Even if this was not how he had planned things, Naruto knew that his death would still serve to save the life of this person who was so precious to him…that through his death, Neji could finally be free. (And hadn't he promised to do anything to help Neji be free?)

Neji still clutched the kunai tightly, his whole body shaking as the impact of what he'd just done washed over him. (What have I done…what have I done?) Now that it was finished, he wished more than anything to take it back. His freedom wasn't worth the loss of this person that had changed his life so dramatically. (This person that he loved.) The bastard actually reached out and gave Neji's hand a sympathetic squeeze, as if to say "It's ok. I still love you." Neji clutched Naruto's body, whispering I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry… over and over again like a litany. He wrenched the offending kunai from Naruto's chest and tried in vain to use his hands to stop the blood that was gushing out of the fatal wound in increasingly slow spurts (so much blood), in his hysteria believing that if he could just press firmly enough…if he could just hold on tightly enough…it would somehow prevent Naruto's life from spilling out onto the sand. But it was too late for bandages or repairs. There was nothing that could be done.

Suddenly, Naruto's body began to violently seize and spasm, and Neji found himself forcibly flung far from his dying lover as an ominous red chakra began to pour from Naruto's body in waves. The earth began to shake, and soon, everything in close proximity to Naruto began to turn to ash from the heat of the power rolling off of him. There was a deafening sound emanating from somewhere deep within the dying boy, both awe-inspiring and terrible, as of a mountain range crumbling or an entire ocean crashing. It was the death rale of a god. Then, an unearthly stillness settled over the area, as if all sound had suddenly been sucked into a vacuum, and Neji knew that both Uzumaki Naruto and Kyuubi no Youko were no more.

For a moment, all was still. Then, Neji broke the eerie silence as a howl of grief escaped from his lips. Time lost all meaning to him. He screamed and screamed until his throat bled, clutching Naruto's body to him, uncaring of what enemies may hear. When some degree of sanity finally returned to him, Neji lifted Naruto's broken body from the ground and began the long journey back to Konoha, not stopping once for either food or rest.

The bodies of the other shinobi had been charred so badly that Neji could not tell Leaf from Sand. He would leave that up to the ANBU to sort out. And although the death of any team member caused him to feel regret (he was not completely callous)…he did not love his fallen comrades like he had loved this man in him arms. He could not leave Naruto's body to be scavenged by the vultures and other repugnant creatures of the desert. He firmly believed that his survival had been Naruto's last gift to him…even as he lay dying, he made sure to fling Neji out of harm's way. (Or perhaps that had been Naruto's curse…because for the rest of his days, he would have to live with what he'd done.) Regardless, making sure Naruto's body returned home was the least he could do.

His report to the Hokage was straightforward enough. He presented all the details honestly, save for one…that it was his hand…not an enemy trap…that had buried the kunai deep into the other boy's heart, bringing about the end of Uzumaki Naruto.

Hinata, of course, had been utterly devastated. She didn't stop crying once during the entire funeral ceremony. And it was a massive ceremony. People who wouldn't give Naruto the time of day when he was younger now showed up to mourn his passing. If Naruto had received even a shred of this kind of recognition while he was alive, he wouldn't have had nearly such a hard life. (But then again, if that had been the case…he wouldn't have been so strong…he wouldn't have been Naruto.) It was a testament to Naruto's power that even the Frog Boss Gamabunta and all his children came to pay their respects. Somehow, without even realizing it, Naruto had deeply affected the lives of so many. And watching it all, Neji felt sick inside.

Although the village of Konoha was deeply shaken by the death of their number one loudest ninja, eventually things began to return to a semblance of normal…for most of the villagers at least. (If the Hokage's eyes were just a little more hollow, or the ramen stand was never quite so lively anymore, these things were to be expected.) Hinata, unfortunately, was not having such an easy time adjusting. She walked through her days like a ghost and shrank from human contact. Neji took it upon himself to console the grief-stricken girl, not out of a desire to win her heart (he did not deserve her heart…he did not deserve his freedom), but out of respect for Naruto.

It did come as a shock, however, when Hinata finally confided in him that she was pregnant with Naruto's child. Neji was honestly surprised…although he was quite familiar with Naruto's sexual appetite, he didn't see the prim and proper Hinata as the sort to give it up before her wedding night (although this did explain how she worked up the nerve to defy her family by accepting Naruto's proposal). Neji also couldn't suppress the twinge of jealousy he felt at Hinata's revelation. This was yet another secret Naruto kept from him…yet another precious moment that was given to Hinata instead of him. (Did he love her more than me?) But the jealousy did not last long…he had no right to feel anything but guilt after what he'd done. And Neji was willing to spend the rest of his life making up for his mistake.

That is why, when Neji realized how dire a situation Hinata was in, he immediately offered to marry her…telling her that even if she did not love him, he would protect her for the rest of her life and raise Naruto's child as if it were his own. Hinata feared what her clan would do to the baby. They would see the child as an impure half-breed…possibly even tainted with the essence of the fox demon Naruto had been the vessel for…and they would do anything in their power to see that her baby did not come into the world. Hinata had been living in terror of her clan finding out since the day she heard of Naruto's death, so it was only with a slight reluctance that she accepted Neji's proposal

The wedding was a small affair, rushed so that it could occur well before the baby was born. And when Hinata gave birth to a blond-haired, blue-eyed baby only seven months after her marriage to Neji, everyone knew what had really happened, but nobody was willing to dishonor the Hyuuga name by mentioning it anywhere but in the privacy of their own homes. Killing a living baby was also much harder to explain away than an 'unfortunate miscarriage,' so, under the (very) watchful eyes of his parents, the child was able to survive unharmed.

Eventually, time began to dull the pain of Naruto's death (sometimes hours went by when Neji did not think about what he had done), but every year, on the anniversary of the day he died, Hinata would weep (and weep and weep) and Neji would comfort her as best he could.

This anniversary is no different. Just as in years past, Neji now cradles his wife to his chest and lets her mourn for her lost love and the life she could have had. He stares into the mirror on the wall of their bedroom and views the smooth skin of his forehead…skin that no longer holds the taint of a cursed seal…and he silently wonders if it was worth the cost. (I would trade it all to have you back.) He does not have time to ponder for long though, because his wife's sobs eventually begin to quiet, and she turns to him for solace of another sort. And if while he comforts Hinata with his body, Neji occasionally imagines her with bright blue eyes and messy blond hair, he doesn't feel too guilty, because he knows that she is secretly doing the same.

After their love-making, Hinata quickly drops off into a troubled sleep. Once Neji is certain he will not wake her, he creeps softly out of their bed. For a moment, he looks down at the sleeping figure of his wife with a genuine smile. When he activates the Byakugan, he can see the tiny chakra pathways being formed by the new life growing in her swollen womb…a child that is of his blood…a child destined for greatness. But he does not tarry for long. He can hear the restless stirrings in the hall outside their bedroom, and he knows that their (her) son is out there.

Neji slips quietly into the hallway. As he suspected, the boy is there, wanting to know why mommy is sad. But the child is only three and not ready to know about his true father yet. (Here, son…let me tell you the story of how I murdered your real daddy.) When the child stares up at Neji with those big blue eyes, he doesn't understand yet that one day he will be ostracized for being so different, for having eyes that will never be pale and white (for having eyes that may some day become angry and red). At times, Neji wants to pluck out those eyes that are so unlike his own…those eyes that unknowingly accuse him with their every glance…because they remind him of the man who taught him how to love…the man who's life he took so that he might gain his freedom. But of course, he would never truly take such an action. Instead, Neji tells the boy not to worry…tells him that mommy is fine…and shoos his son who is not his son off to bed.

Then, once the house is quiet with the sound of slumber, Neji sits alone in the dark and silently weeps for what he has done.


End file.
